Double Features: Gritty Crimes & Tarnished Badges

Here's another Double Feature programmed on a theme by your friendly neighbourhood Nerdlinger. It's a recurring column I began a little while ago to help some of you come up with some interesting options at the video store, along with a tasty beverage and snack to accompany your evening.

Double Feature: To Live and Die in LA & Narc

This time out we're diving into the seedy side of law enforcement with a couple of particularly nasty cop films that examine the blurred line between cops and criminals. Yeah, yeah, it's cliched subject matter, but it's also kick-ass, intense subject matter, so enjoy some car chases, bad language and truly bad muthafuckas.

To Live and Die in LA is first up, and it was looked upon as one of director William Friedkin's many comebacks. Friedkin shot to the absolute top of the directorial pile with the incredible one-two punch of The French Connection and The Exorcist before flaming out in spectacular fashion with Sorcerer and Cruising. He would continue to direct, and every once in a while, he'd have a film come out that seemed poised to return him to the A-list. To Live and Die in LA is the one that came a closest; a lean, brutal and joyously over the top movie about federal agents so obsessed with taking down a counterfeiter that they will cross absolutely any line to do so. William Petersen and John Pankow plays the cops and Willem Dafoe is the crook. There's a killer car chase, and an equally killer twist in the final act, and while the film is almost a museum piece of the 1980s and the dialogue can get a little obvious, the film still packs a vicious punch.

Before Joe Carnahan disappeared up his own ass with overly stylized, empty-headed excess like Smokin' Aces and The A-Team he made Narc, an intense and brilliant study of two cops seemingly completely destroyed by the war on drugs. Jason Patric is heartbreaking as a cop traumatized by an awful experience who has been paired up with Ray Liotta's veteran detective. Liotta has skated completely over the edge in his pursuit of the two dealers who he thinks killed his partner, and the crux of the film is whether Liotta has lost it, and whether Patric will follow him down the rabbit hole. It's a depressing, but captivating, film, and it makes one wish this was the type of film Carnahan continued to make.


Drink: As an ironic counter-point to the cops in these films, I offer you the Pink Police:

Pink Police Recipe

12 oz Beer
12 oz Vodka
12 oz Frozen Pink Lemonade

Pour one can of beer into a pitcher. Add one can of frozen pink lemonade. Add vodka (in place of the water), stir and serve.


Snack: What better snack for a double feature about cops is there than this:

Old-Fashioned Cake Donut Recipe

If you would like to make traditional donuts you will need to buy a simple donut maker machine. They are inexpensive (often less than $10) and can be found in brick and mortar specialty cooking stores or can be easily purchased online at a kitchen supply store. While waiting to receive your donut maker, you can start by making donut holes. Simply drop small balls of dough into the hot oil.

Ingredients:
• 2 1/2 c. flour
• 2 tsp. baking powder
• 1 tsp. salt
• 1/2 tsp. cinnamon
• 1/4 tsp. nutmeg
• 1 c. sugar
• 2 beaten eggs
• 1 Tbsp. softened unsalted butter
• 1 tsp. vanilla
• 1 c. milk

Directions:

1. In a large bowl combine the flour, baking powder, salt, cinnamon, and nutmeg. Set aside.
2. In a separate bowl beat the eggs and sugar with a mixer.
3. Add the softened butter, vanilla, and milk and mix until well-incorporated.
4. Slowly add the dry ingredients and beat until smooth. Do not overmix.
5. Lightly coat the inside of the donut maker with nonstick cooking spray and fill with batter.
6. Hold the machine just over the hot oil and lightly press on the lever to release the batter. Then gently release the lever and allow the donut to fall into the pan.
7. Fry the donut batter in hot vegetable oil, turning halfway through to ensure even browning. Fry approximately one minute per side, although that time can vary depending on how hot the oil is.
8. Remove golden-brown donuts and allow them to cool on paper towels.

Makes about 1 dozen donuts.

Enjoy the show!

Double Features : 70s Thrillers

As I said in my previous post, I've come up with a couple new features here at The Nerd Report, and the first one I want to share with you is my new Double Features series. Ever been at the video store, looking for some good flicks for a solid night at the movies, but you can't find anything to tickle your fancy? Well, hopefully this feature will help. I'll pair up some movies that will be connected by theme, stars, directors or some wacky connecter. What hopefully will make this different will be that I'll also be giving you a drink and a snack to go along with it!

To get us going, let's pull out our neckerchiefs and flared pants, enjoy the sexual liberation and the doses of the clap that accompany it, and relentless presence of countless shitty songs by the Eagles. That's right, we're heading back to the 1970s with a couple top notch thrillers.

Double Feature: Three Days of the Condor & Marathon Man

These two films recall the halcyon days when the Paramount logo meant quality as opposed to today, when I can't remember the last time I saw anything made by Paramount that actually wasn't a piece of crap.

Three Days of the Condor stars Robert Redford as an inexplicably hunky researcher who works for the CIA reading and analyzing various books. When his entire office is massacred for reasons unknown, Redford escapes and soon realizes that he can't trust anyone; not his friends, not his bosses, not even his own ideas about his country. Basically, it's a perfect representation of the paranoia that was rampant in those times. Redford is excellent, and the rest of the cast, featuring Faye Dunaway, Max von Sydow and Cliff Robertson, is top notch. There's a love story that is unrealistic, but is mitigated by a sad undercurrent. The spy stuff is very cool here, mostly because it's so completely re-

alistic.

Marathon Man is the more famous of the two, and certainly the more chilling. Dustin Hoffman stars as a graduate student and marathon runner who, through his brother's shadowy life as a secret agent, becomes the target of a brutal Nazi war criminal played by Laurence Olivier. Beset on all sides by pretty much everyone all around him, Hoffman has to, through sheer endurance, stay alive and try to figure out exactly what is going on. Notable for its absolutely horrifying interrogation scene involving Hoffman's hero, Olivier's Nazi dentist, and one

question repeated over and over; "Is it safe?" Chilling and engrossing.

Drink: Our drink for the movie is that champion of the era: Harvey Wallbanger! You'll need 1.5 oz of Vodka, 3 oz of fresh Orange Juice, and a 1/2 oz of Galliano. Shake vodka and orange juice briefly over ice. Pour into a Collins glass. Top with ice if necessary. Float Galliano on top.

Snack: What better 1970s choice than some nice Fondue? Get some nice cheese, throw it in your fondue pot, and heat it up. Then dip in some nice meat, bread cubes and veggies and you're almost ready for a key party. Don't have the hardware? Then get yourself a snack plate that is segmented, preferably with a faux wood finish, and throw in some potato chips, bridge mix and roasted peanuts.

Enjoy the show!

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

To all readers out there, Happy "Pretend That Distant Irish Relative Makes You As Irish As Michael Collins And Gives You The Right To Be Obnoxiously Drunk" Day. Here's some Pogues for you:




Try not to wind up as drunk as this guy:





Jeebus.

Happy St. Patrick's Day!!

The best holiday for people who wish they were Irish or people who have drinking problems is here once again! Get out your green, curse the fuckin' English, drink yourself into oblivion, and get in a fight with a stranger!

Here's a sample from the only band that provides a perfect soundtrack for all the goals listed above.

The Pogues:



Perhaps the finest preventative measure against alcoholism: Shane MacGowan!