Thursday, April 30, 2009

Image Search: "The Shat"

Yet another feature I haven't gone back to in a while, but I thought it might be fun to revisit. You know, Leonard Nimoy been's getting all the love lately. He's soon to be onscreen in Star Trek, returning to his iconic role. He's been cast in Fringe as a creepy scientist guy. Now, it's being reported that Michael Bay wants him to voice one of the Transformers in the sequel coming up this summer.

Are we all forgetting who the true Star Trek icon is? I'm talking, of course, of the Shat. So, to honour Canada's greatest living actor (suck it, Christopher Plummer), I commenced a search of some iconic images. Here's a sample of the best:

That's right, bitches, you think the Shat was only big for the Trek and Boston Legal? You're forgetting his role as the toughest of car hood hugging beat cops, TJ Hooker. This leads to a fantastic question: Who would win in a fight, Hooker or Kirk? I think we all know who would nail Heather Locklear first. As for Adrian Zmed, we all know which Star Trek crewmember would nail him first. I'm looking at you George Takei.

I like to think of this as the Shat's Vegas period. You know, at this point, he'd probably sign a contract to a six month gig at the Sands, delighting countless dozens with his truly bizarre renditions of Mr. Tambourine Man and Rocket Man, then closing by recommending people hit the buffet and try the shrimp cocktail.

Jesus, did the Shat stoop so low as to appear on Match Game, or something? Uncomfortably sandwiched between Jamie Farr and Charles Nelson Reilly thinking, "Just you wait. When Lorne Greene dies, I'll be Canada's greatest living actor, and then you can all suck my balls. Stop mentioning Christopher Plummer, seriously".


Without any hyperbole, this might be the greatest photo in existence.

Yep, so while Nimoy may be getting all the press right now, he couldn't possibly have anything to match the above photos, could he? Could he?

Monday, April 27, 2009

Star Trek - Disease and Danger

Came across this short clip of the new Star Trek film, and I have to say, it seems pretty much like Karl Urban nailed Dr. McCoy. It's not a direct impression, which is good, but feels like something that DeForest Kelley would have said. Check it out:

Saturday, April 25, 2009

Sci-Fi Tech That Will Kill Us All (5)

It's been a really long time since I last posted one of these, and I've missed it. So, I'm bringing this feature back, and in a big way, with a piece of tech that makes me want to call Michael Biehn and Christian Bale, and even that lame kid John Connor from the Terminator TV show.

Here's a description of the device in a Wired article:

It's called the Autonomous Rotorcraft Sniper System. It mounts a powerful rifle onto highly stabilized turret, and fixes the package on board a Vigilante unmanned helicopter.

Yeah, that's a robot sniper. A frakkin' robot sniper. In case you don't see the terrifying possibilites, allow me to show what our future robotic overlords will eventually develop this charmingly simple technology into.

Here's some more on what this baby can do:

The system is intended for the urban battlefield — an eye in the sky that can stare down concrete canyons, and blink out targets with extreme precision. Attempting to return fire against the ARSS is liable to be a near-suicidal act: ARSS is described as being able to fire seven to 10 aimed shots per minute, and it's unlikely to miss.

Now I know what you're thinking, firstly, do they really want to call it ARSS? Arse? Really. I guess when you can immediately deliver a head shot to any asshole who makes fun of your name from two miles away, you can handle a name that is literally ass. On a side note, I'm drawing my blinds right now.

The US Army: leaders in finding new ways to kill people without getting any of their own guys killed. Oh, and handing over the world to Skynet.

Monday, April 20, 2009

Flash Forward moving forward....

According to an article over at io9, the pilot based on the novel Flash Forward is going ahead and will get a series order from ABC.

For those out there that don't know, Flash Forward is a novel by respected Canadian SF author Robert J. Sawyer. In it, an experiment at the Large Hadron Collider creates a two minute period where the entire population of the planet Earth has their consciousness transported twenty years into the future. The novel follows the pair of scientists who orchestrated the experiment, and the major themes of the story focus on whether or not the future is set or can be changed and how foreknowledge can alter your decisions. Heady stuff, but there's also a cool mystery, as one of the scientists doesn't experience a vision, indicating that he may be dead in the future, and he learns from other peoples' visions that he may have been murdered.

I liked the book (aside from the ending, which I won't spoil, but went too far into sci-fi land for me) as did Mrs. Nerdlinger, but we both wondered how it would turn into a series.

Well, wonder no further! Here's what io9 has to say:

But unlike the novel, in which everyone sees twenty years into the future, the show, produced by David S. Goyer and Brannon Braga, gives everyone a glimpse five months into the future. And at the end of each season, the show resets and people get another future-glimpse. The show stars Joseph Fiennes, John Cho, Sonya Walger and Jack Davenport.

I like the alteration, as it gives the series more versatility, although how this can be said to be based on the novel is beyond me. Still, I like the cast. The only thing is that some of these high-concept shows have kind of tanked as the concept becomes too overwhelming. We'll see this fall, I guess.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Wow, I watched some sh*%#y cartoons....

Back in the day, when I was a young'un of six or seven, there was a stretch of cartoons that came on Sunday mornings that were so god-awful that it appears I completely suppressed all knowledge of them. Only recently, while trolling youtube for amusing clips of people getting hit in the groin with things (seriously, a ball hits your is that not classic?), I came across this clip:

I actually watched this insanity. First off, that Cricket is fucking nuts. In fact, the only way to enjoy this is to pretend the Cricket is a "voice" Pinocchio hears in his head, asking him to "do things".

After that creepy half-hour of disturbingly annoying puppetry came this:

I love how this jumps right into complete lunacy. The scarecrow just takes his fricking head off so that the Wizard can fill it with fish in order to make him smarter, but his body walks off. Oddly enough, this is exactly like an acid trip I took when I was 14, except substitute "Wizard" for "Paul Lynde" and "Fish" for "More Acid".

Finally, this animated craptacular ended with this:

I'm sorry, did those lyrics just say: "Softness in his eyes, Iron in his thighs"? Did I just hear that?

God, it's amazing I turned out at all well-adjusted. Let's cleanse our pallets with the following:


Thursday, April 9, 2009

Trailer for Moon

Below you'll find the trailer for a new film coming out this summer called Moon, starring the always great Sam Rockwell. The film is co-written and directed by Duncan Jones, who also happens to be the son of David Jones. No, not Davey Jones from the Monkees but the rock star better known as David Bowie. That's neither here nor there, merely interesting.

Anyway, the movie looks creepy and atmospheric as hell, and I'm intrigued.

In Search of........Fringe

According to a couple of sources, most notably Michael Ausiello over at, the producers of Fringe have landed a legendary sci-fi icon to play Dr. Walter Bishop's former lab partner; none other than Leonard Nimoy!

I know that picture over there is several decades out of date, but if you had this picture, wouldn't you use it no matter how old you got? The man is wearing a neckerchief. Suave, Mr. Nimoy, you were definitely not In Search Of......a sense of style.

Anyhoo, Nimoy will play William Bell, who, in addition to being Bishop's former partner, is also the founder of shadowy multi-national corporation Massive Dynamic. I've always thought Nimoy was actually underrated as an actor; his work as Spock, all kidding aside, was awesome. I also really loved his performance in Invasion of the Body Snatchers with Donald Sutherland. So, I think he'll bring just the right creepy flavour.

As for Fringe itself, I've really enjoyed it so far. The pseudo-science has been enjoyable, and only occasionally so preposterous as to defy belief. The overarching plot is present, but doesn't make the show impenetrable. It's even made me like Joshua Jackson, who gives off a charmingly rakish vibe. So, I'm glad it's doing well and seemingly going to have a second season.

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

The Enterprise launches in Sydney and Texas....

Well, JJ Abrams' Star Trek had its premiere in Sydney, Australia, which you can read about here, but the big news is about a recent event at the famed Alamo Drafthouse in Austin, TX.

Ain't It Cool News was hosting an event at the theatre showing a supposedly pristine print of Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan accompanied by ten minutes of new footage from the latest film in the franchise, which is scheduled to open May 8th.

A few minutes into the film however, the print seemed to melt, putting a halt to the whole screening. Then, a man in a cap entered the theatre, holding a film can. That man was Leonard Nimoy, who proceeded to ask the crowd if they would rather see the new film in its entireity. Spock was the FedEx guy. Weird.

While those who saw the film at its premiere in Sydney aren't allowed to post reviews until April 26th, the Drafthouse audience are under no such restriction, and reviews have been positive, to put it mildly.

Quint at Aint It Cool says:

Star Trek isn’t just a successful reboot, but a genuinely fun and exciting science fiction action adventure. My biggest complaint is that it feels like they just got started up when the film ended. I want more! I want to see the further adventures of Captain James T. Kirk and his crew aboard the USS Enterprise.

Josh Tyler at Cinemablend says:

The runtime flies by with very few lulls in the pacing, reinvigorating characters and a universe that had, let's be honest, grown stale and tired. More than anything else, the movie just feels so much more fun than any previous entry. There’s more humor, more thrills, far more energy and a much better movie here than anything I’ve seen from Star Trek since the 80’s. I admit I was skeptical- I was not prepared to care about this universe and these characters again, after the crushing mediocrity that they had become. I can be skeptical no more, though. This is a fantastic movie its own right, one I would definitely recommend to Trekkie and new fan alike.

Massawrym at Aint It Cool had this to say:

Everything just feels right. Organic. Authentic. That’s the word. Authentic. This never feels like a copy. It’s the real deal. And there’s a good chance it is going to blow your fucking doors off. I cannot express how happy I am with this film. Every moment worked for me – it felt like there wasn’t so much as a hair out of place. I LOVED it. My non Trek-loving wife LOVED it.

Finally, Harry Knowles, the Godfather of AICN:

This is the Star Trek that I’ve been waiting for. Star Trek that is on a grand level of spectacle, Star Trek that is smart science fiction and Star Trek that gives me characters that I love to spend time with. That’s the Star Trek that JJ Abrams sprung on me tonight and for that, I say for a third time, “God Bless JJ ABRAMS!!!”

Now, granted, these are from genre-loving fanboys who are in love with hyperbole and who really want this film to be good, but it's important to remember that fanboys can be incredibly savage with equal fervor.

Still, I'm guardedly excited, and hope that their early praise is true. As my friend Newman said, "Nothing could be worse than that last shitty TV show they put out". While that is true, I would really like to see it back to its former glory.

Friday, April 3, 2009

Do you want to see an incomplete, quite possibly mediocre superhero movie?

As many of you undoubtedly know, a workprint of the upcoming 20th Century Fox film X-Men Origins: Wolverine has been leaked to the interwebs.

While it's not unheard of that snippets of movies find their way onto the net through shady means, it is unusual that a whole film is leaked just over a month before its release.

Keep in mind, this is a workprint, which means that most of the effects are not done, nor is the music the actual music for the finished film. Still, this does give those willing to steal the opportunity to see a version of the film.

Now, while I understand the position of some of those out there who see the interwebs as some sort of global Robin Hood, enabling the powerless public to have access to media they were cruelly charged for in the past, I also think there's another way to look at it:

You're thieves.

You can talk about leveling the global playing field allllllll you want, but at the end of the day, you're stealing something because, hey, why the fuck should I pay for it when I can jack it for free? You know who else thinks like that? Criminals. And before you jump all up in my grill, I don't download anything. Not music, not movies, nothing. The only kind of downloading I agree with is downloading TV shows, because they were broadcast for free originally anyways.

They called the FBI to investigate this leak, and they should. People worked hard, studios put up a fuckload of cash, Hugh Jackman worked out more in six months than I ever have in my entire life. The very least we can do if we want to see this movie that hundreds of people put literally years of their lives into is plunk down $12.50. And really, who's THIS excited to see this movie? I devour comic books like candy, and even I think this'll probably be shit.

By the way, the only thing worse than dowloading this movie? Doing so and then posting a review for all to see. That's like stealing someone's car and then taking out a classified ad saying their pre-set radio stations were all shitty.

So, those of you dying to see every shitty X-Man that they couldn't be bothered to stick in the first three movies? Knock yourselves out. And don't talk to me about Gambit. Gambit sucks. Hard.