Thursday, June 23, 2011

Explosions! Shooting! Punches! DeNiro! Facial Hair!

Wow, okay, the trailer for Killer Elite has come out. Now, from what I can decipher from this trailer, Jason Statham is a Killer, being hunted by a mustachioed Clive Owen (also a Killer). To up the ante into "aw no, you di-in-n't" territory, Owen kindaps Robert DeNiro (Statham's father figure. Oh yeah, also a Killer).

There are so much balls in this trailer that women may become pregnant simply by watching it. The only way this film could be more manly is if someone opens a closet during the film and the corpses of Lee Marvin and Steve McQueen fall out, shooting rocket launchers. Check out the manliness below:

The best part is when they show Statham, tied to a chair, leaping out a third story window in slow-mo, and then flash the title card, "Based on a True Story". That actually had me laughing out loud.

Still, it does look like it would be a good time at the movies. It's just so over the top insane that it might be a blast to watch. Also, it makes me sad for Clive Owen. Remember when he was a big-time Oscar nominated super-star? Closer? Children of Men? The many thought was perfect for James Bond? Someone should introduce him to the concept of saying no to things like Shoot Em Up. Then maybe he wouldn't have to do movies where he's second fiddle to our generation's Jean Claude Van Damme and forced to grow a hideous perv 'stache.


Timelords said...

Don't call out Clive without calling out DeNiro too. At least Children of Men was only 5 years ago. And I kind-of liked Clive in The Golden Age. And although the movie ended up as disappointing, who wouldn't have signed up after the original films success.

I had to go back 13 years, to 1998's Ronin, for something that truly stood out for me with DeNiro. Sure the first Fockers film was fun, but hardly an epic role. And it was stale by the sequels.
The last 13 years included:
Focker Trilogy
Analyze This
Analyze That
Rocky and Bullwinkle
15 Minutes
Stardust (arguable)

Now that makes me sad.

Timelords said...

Btw, not ranting at you. Just a topical subject, after watching Casino and Goodfellas last weekend and thinking, jeez, DeNiro hasn't done anything truly epic in a while.

And as sidebar, I can't believe Joe Pesci came out of retirement to do a Snickers commercial. Love the commercial though.

Nerdlinger said...

Okay, DeNiro has done some terrible, terrible, movies. But he had like, twenty years of incredible, groundbreaking work under his belt. Clive Owen has gone downhill awfully fast.