Wednesday, June 17, 2009

The Nerd Report Gallery - Awesome Insanity

Today I'm launching yet another new recurring feature I've dubbed the Nerd Report Gallery, a virtual collection of film posters throughout the history of film. We're opening with a selection of posters that are so bizarre, cheesy or otherwise insane that they reach the level of awesome.

begin with this:
The levels of awesome are literally radiating from this poster. How do you turn a culture-swiping, white-trash, kung-fu enthusiast and horse tranquilizer addict into a legendary figure? Well, first off, they become the fucking King of Rock n' Roll. Next off, they get a white jumpsuit. Then, they get this poster. Mission accomplished.

"So, yeah, baby, I live downtown, we can just hop in a cab and......oh, they're turning the ugly lights on, right? Ha-ha - SWEET JESUS, YOU'RE A FUCKING LIZARD!"

I can't read Russian, and therefore have no clue what this movie is about, but if the scene depicted here is in the movie, it may the greatest film ever made.

The title. That picture of John Wayne; is that lipstick? Too.......many........double.......entendres. And I don't know why the title would have been less funny if it had been "Ride 'Em Cowboy" but it would have. There's something so insistent about the "Ride Him Cowboy".

Seriously - look at that poster. Do you not want to see this movie right now? Space Vampires? The Millenium Falcon? Horny, probably naked teenagers? I don't even have a joke to make, this is just incredible.

What the fuck.

No comments: