Monday, January 11, 2010

Stuart Townsend is Unfathomable

I seriously cannot fathom Stuart Townsend. He had been cast as Fandral, the good looking buddy of Thor in the anticipated adaptation of the Marvel comic due next summer. However, it has just been reported that he had left the film over "creative differences".

nless you are a huge Anne Rice fan, Townsend is probably best known as "that guy that gets to fuck Charlize Theron", which quite frankly, is not the worst title to go by.

Seriously, dude, don't rub it in.

But, there is another story he's famous for. Or rather infamous. See, he was also the first actor to be cast as Aragorn in Lord of the Rings. So the story goes, Peter Jackson realized he had cast the role too young and had to recast, choosing the singularly awesome Viggo. It's important to recognize that either Jackson is telling the truth, or he's following the old Hollywood tradition of being very polite and discreet when you replace actors and Townsend wound up being awful. Either way, no one really talks about it, which is odd 'cause those Hobbits are mouthy, and they're everywhere. Seriously they're like squirrels.

But that's neither here nor there. The important thing, it seems to me, is that if you're Townsend, and you got cast in another big blockbuster after that, wouldn't you do pretty much anything to hang onto it? Seriously. "Creative differences"? If you start arguing with Ken Branagh over the direction he's taking with your character, I think Charlize needs to smack you in the peenie and remind you the name of the flick is Thor, not Fandral, and maybe you should shut the eff up, Aragorn.

. Anyway, lucky fucking break for Joshua Dallas, right?

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