"Fantastic Four" cast revealed?

It had been rumoured for a long time, but now Variety reports that the main cast has been pretty much set for 20th Century Fox's upcoming Fantastic Four reboot. The article claims that in addition to long rumoured Michael B. Jordan as Johnny Storm, the film will star Miles Teller as Reed Richards, Kate Mara as Susan Storm and Jamie Bell as Ben Grimm.

 

Slated to open June, 2015, the reboot will be directed by Josh Trank, who previously helmed the found footage superhero film Chronicle, from a script written by Simon Kinberg, who previously penned Sherlock Holmes and X-Men: Days of Future Past.

The casting of the film has been a source of controversy ever since Jordan was first linked to the role of Johnny Storm. Storm is a white character in the comics, and some fans complained that the casting of an African-American actor in the role was too far away from the original concept. I was not one of those people. I myself had no problem with Jordan's casting because he's a fantastic actor with a big career ahead of him and I can easily see him playing the role of Johnny Storm as he appears in the comics and just killing it. Johnny's skin colour seems to me in no way important to the character. He's a young, hot-headed lady-killer with an immature sense of humour. I don't see what part of that screams white or black. And such vehemence against his casting on the basis of his skin colour? I can't see how that isn't racist in some way.

Ben Affleck is the New Batman, and Why You Shouldn't Worry About It

Earlier this evening,  news came out that Ben Affleck will play Batman in the upcoming Batman vs. Superman film, to be directed by Zack Snyder and co-star Henry Cavill.

And the Interwebs went bat-shit insane. Pardon the pun. There were some people in the Twitter-verse that had good things to say, but there were also people that seemed to regard this as a sign of the end times. Including my wife, whose irrational hatred of Affleck actually scares me sometimes.

I'm a pretty huge comic book fan. And I'm a pretty huge movie fan. And so I have no qualms suggesting that everyone CALM THE FUCK DOWN. Seriously, take a breath. Now allow me to go into why I not only don't mind the news of Affleck as Batman, but actually think it could wind up being awesome.

NBC and Dan Harmon May Kiss and Make Up.....There's An Image, Huh?

Dan Harmon

News is emerging that Dan Harmon is in talks with Sony Pictures Television to return to Community.

The absurd postmodern sitcom created by Harmon has always struggled with low ratings, but has garnered a devoted following and critical acclaim. While its numbers are bad, they're not bad for NBC, who can't seem to find a hit with both hands and a flashlight.

Harmon created the show, and was the driving creative influence. After the third season, he was fired by Sony, who cited his continual lateness delivering scripts, amongst other creative differences. He had a public and ugly feud with cast member Chevy Chase (Chase himself left the show mid way through the fourth season) and according to Harmon, Sony never even fired him in person (he was told via an executive producer on Community that he was done).

A 13 episode fourth season was greenlit and shot, with David Guarascio and Moses Port as producers. Many long time fans of the show (including this writer) felt that fourth season was nowhere near as strong as the previous three.

I'd Like to Punch the Academy

Hello, Oscar. It's me, Nerdlinger. You know, the guy who has watched every single Oscar telecast, live, since 1989? The Oscars are like the Superbowl:  It's something I look forward to every year, I care about who wins and loses, the musical acts suck balls and occasionally someone gets hurt in a spectacular fashion. But there can also be moments of startling grace up there.

We've had our ups and downs, haven't we, Oscar? Remember when Shakespeare in Love beat Saving Private Ryan? What happened there? And Crash? Seriously, Crash? And we've disagreed at times. I liked David Letterman as host for instance. But I've stuck by you. That's what you do when you're a devotee. Even back in the mid 1990s, when the shows were like, 19 1/2 hours long.

But last night, you tested me. The telecast was only a little over three hours, but it felt longer than any of those bloated affairs from the past. It was by far the least enjoyable show I've watched in my memory of the telecast. Why, you may ask? Well, let me give you some reasons:

Are You Talking to Me?

News has been leaked today that literally dozens of celebs in New York have been licensed to carry a concealed weapon. According to several stories, the list includes Marc Anthony, Donald Trump, Howard Stern, and Robert De Niro. The NYPD have been issuing these permits, and they are famously rather tough to get. you have to prove either that you are under some increased level of threat or regularly carry large amounts of cash or valuables.

What this means is that you may experience the following scene for reals, if you get up in Bobby D's grill looking for him to autograph your DVD of Showtime:





Now, I really can't make fun of Donald Trump's hair should I ever run into him. Cross one more dream off the list, cruel world.

It's Not the End of Civilization.. But We Can See it From Here.

Justin Bieber has a biopic in the works. What......the......fuck? Now, I am not in the core audience for Justin Bieber, being neither a tween, nor in possession of a vagina, so I do not track the level of relevance this kid exerts, but he's just another pop star right? I mean, we're talking less Ray Charles or John Lennon, more Frankie Avalaon or Bobby Sherman, yeah?

The recently announced direct (who won the job after helming recent masterpiece Step Up 3D) actually said the following:

This is the story of a new voice continuing the tradition of musicians that defined their generation.

Oddly enough, his pants were not actually on fire while he said this.

So, Justin Bieber now has a biopic. For those playing at home, here's a list of musicians that don't have a biopic:

Smokey Robinson

Jimi Hendrix

The Ramones

The Velvet Underground

Bob Marley

N.W.A

Sam Cooke

Iggy Pop

The MC5

Marvin Gaye

Kurt Cobain

Frank Zappa

James Brown

Elliot Smith

David Bowie

Bob......fucking........Dylan

But, we've got Bieber all taken care of. We've locked that down. I hear Daniel Day Lewis is in talks to play him.

Norton Out, Ruffalo In?

As most of the geek world knows, Edward Norton was recently, and rather publicly, fired by Marvel Studios from reprising the role of Bruce Banner. The character, and his green-skinned alter-ego the Hulk, is scheduled to appear in Marvel's Avengers film. The film was always been planned to showcase the Marvel super-team and the stars of its franchises; Iron Man, the Hulk, Thor and Captain America. The film is seen as the culmination of the fledgling studio's bold attempt to recreate their comic book universe on film, and will be directed by Joss Whedon.

Marvel's head of production, Kevin Feige, released a statement that strongly inferred that Norton was being dropped due to an unwillingness to collaborate and share the spotlight. The statement included the following:

Our decision is definitely not one based on monetary factors, but instead rooted in the need for an actor who embodies the creativity and collaborative spirit of our other talented cast members.

Ouch. That is public relations speak for, "We'd like to hire someone who isn't such a dick."

Norton's rep was understandably upset, saying it was an offensive, purposefully misleading, inappropriate attempt to paint our client in a negative light, adding counter to what Kevin implies here, Edward was looking forward to the opportunity to work with Joss and the other actors in the Avengers cast, many of whom are personal friends of his. Feige's statement is unprofessional, disingenuous and clearly defamatory. Mr Norton's talent, tireless work ethic and professional integrity deserve more respect, and so do Marvel's fans.

For his part, Norton responded pretty damn classily. The weird thing is that while what Marvel charges isn't exactly out of character for Norton, neither is Norton's camps that Marvel is unreasonably cheap.

Norton has had a history of somewhat fractious professional relationships. Tony Kaye, the director of American History X, famously has huge clashes with his star, as Kaye hilariously wrote about in an article for the Guardian. Here's a few choice excerpts:

The first screening of my cut had been a success. Then the studio gave me pages and pages of notes, as did Norton...Their first reaction after I bawled them out was to ban me from the cutting room. Eventually they let me in, and I worked with them on re-edits for a year. In that time, I found a whole new film, one that they never allowed me to finish. At one point, they even let Norton work on the editing. I was so staggered by what he was doing to my film, and by the fact that New Line approved, that I punched the wall and broke my hand.

Whenever I argued with Norton, I didn't have a leg to stand on. He could wipe the floor with me because he's a great articulator...Of course, if you actually listened to what Norton was saying, you could hear that none of it made sense in film-making terms: that's not his forte, as you'll know if you saw the movie that he directed, Keeping the Faith. "Pretty fucking awful" hardly covers that one.

Marvel has also had its share of difficulties, most famously falling out with original Iron Man co-star Terrence Howard and replacing him for Iron Man 2 with Don Cheadle, purportedly over salary demands.

So, who knows? Norton has never been the easiest guy to work with. Look at how many times he's worked with anybody twice. That's your biggest indicator in Hollywood if some one's a massive pain in the ass. Still, the usual (well, polite, really) thing to do is to refer to some sort of nebulous "creative differences". What you don't tend to do is come right out and say, "That guy over there? Major asshole!"

But word has just come out that they are in talks with Mark Ruffalo to take over the role. And I think Ruffalo might wind up being a better fit than even Norton. Ruffalo is a bit more off-kilter than Norton; less of a leading-man, more of a character, but still charismatic enough. Could be interesting.

Class, Thy Name is Coco

Last night, 60 Minutes aired the first interview with Conan O'Brien since his ousting as host of The Tonight Show. I'm embedding the interview in two segments below because, it's incredibly rare that we get to see the pain in the eyes of someone who has attained their dream only to have it dashed to the rocks by a bunch of douche bags. Seriously, that's like seeing a rare white elk. Or a Unicorn. Or a Unicorn and a white elk humping to produce the rarest of all creatures, the White Elkicorn.

Seriously, the man is a class act. Yeah, I know he's limited by the legal agreement he had to sign. But you get the sense throughout that he's a guy with character that's been terribly hurt by this whole thing. He was led down the garden path by people he thought were friends and colleagues, and then he just got mercilessly shafted. As he states, he's okay, he's doing fine. But it's pretty heartbreaking to watch someone have to admit that he came this close to his lifelong dream, and then had it stolen away.







Also, he makes NBC, Leno and Jeff Zucker look like even bigger dicks than before, and who would have thought that was even possible? Rad.

Can Polanski be Forgiven?

The whole Roman Polanski controversy just makes me tired all over. It's the kind of morally complicated issue that frustrates a lot of people and makes them want to simplify it; reduce it to a right or wrong kind of thing in order to not consider the complexity it presents.

Recently, Polanski released a statement about the LA District Attorney's attempt to extradite him from Switzerland. It is a largely self-serving document, but then it's perfectly natural that it would be. If you feel you are being persecuted by people who only are after to you capitalize on your fame and enlarge their professional standing, then you are going to look out for yourself pretty strongly, wouldn't you say?

Here's the thing; he's not entirely wrong. I'm not saying Polanski isn't guilty of a crime. He is. A serious one. And the breadth of his talent as a film maker and artist in no way justifies any leniency. And he's guilty. Even Polanksi has never denied that. He is guilty of raping an 13 year old girl. And it's not the "not really rape" you're thinking of, Whoopi Goldberg. He gave a teenager booze and drugs and then raped her. Yeah, he didn't jump out of the bushes with mask on and knock her to the ground, but rape is rape.

But Polanski isn't wrong, because, from the second he was arrested, his case became about punishing a permissive society (Hollywood) for having the temerity to flaunt the laws of decent people. And it also became about a judge making a name for himself by sending a big-shot Hollywood director to prison. People wanted to see him sent to jail not just because he was guilty, but also because they were sick of hearing about movie stars doing drugs and having sex and living life like it had no consequences. Polanski knew this, even during the initial trial. And his suspicions were confirmed, when, after having arranged a plea deal and pleading guilty, the judge then turned around and recommended jail time and deportation.

Now, I'm not saying the Polanski didn't most likely deserve a strong sentence. If it was anyone else, he almost certainly would have gone to jail for years. But the fact of the matter is, his process through the justice system was incredibly biased, culminating in a judge that makes a deal that is agreed to and then reneges and violates the conditions of said deal.

The Hot Blog writer makes a case for throwing the book at Polanski, and I see his point. And I certainly can't fathom the passionate defence people have for him on a personal level. He's a talented man who did a reprehensible thing. But his victim has asked that this whole debacle end, claiming she has forgiven him (And why no one has ever asked her parents what they were thinking letting their 13-year-old daughter go alone to a private photo shoot with Polanski at Jack Nicholson's house is beyond me). The original trial is clearly tainted by judicial, if not misconduct, then at least errors.

This thing is now just a springboard to make the political careers of some attorneys in LA, and do we really believe that putting this sad old man in jail is going to award us any sort of moral victory? After a trial built on compromise and double-dealing? Does the justice system truly think it claims the high road, here? We screwed up. We had our chance to fairly and justly convict and sentence a man who committed a crime. Certainly if a man feels that the justice system has lied to him and wants to put him away for its own reasons that have little to do with actual justice, should we be that surprised when that man feels he has to run? Guilty or not, would we do any different?

Will the Lion Be Put To Sleep?

With Variety recently announcing that production for the next film in the Bond franchise is to be put on hold, the future is starting to look really bleak for MGM.

MGM was founded in 1924, when Marcus Loew gained control of Metro Pictures, Goldwyn Pictures and Louis B Mayer Pictures. He combined them into Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, with the classic logo of a roaring lion surrounded by a circle of filmstrip and under the motto "Ars Gratia Artis", which was Latin for "Arts for Art's Sake". Though Loew himself died three years later, two men would raise the fledgling studio to become the most successful studio of the Golden Age era. They were studio chief Louis B. Mayer, and his wunderkind head of production Irving Thalberg. together they made MGM the dominant studio in Hollywood through their acquisition of stars (such as Lon Chaney, Clark Gable, William Powell, Greta Garbo, Joan Crawford, Jean Harlow) and their classy, sophisticated style. They produced such films as The Wizard of Oz, Northwest Passage, the Andy Hardy and Thin Man series, Grand Hotel, Ninotchka, and countless others.

Like most studios, however, the latter half of the 20th century was problematic, and at this point in time, despite an extensive film library that is its greatest asset, the studio owes nearly $4 billion dollars to creditors. Unlike studios such as Warner Bros., which is owned by conglomerate Time Warner, MGM has never really diversified out of the movie production and distribution business. With DVD sales on a huge down curve, and less people heading to the movies than in years past, the studio has found itself in serious, serious trouble.

Currently, the consortium that owns MGM is putting itself up for auction, and Time Warner, Lionsgate and other parties have been interested, but there isn't a lot of hope that a deal can be made for the studio as it exists now. Rather, what may happen is that the studio may be sold off in pieces, which debt holders are objecting to, as the fire sale prices are below the value of what MGM actually has, such as the wildly profitable James Bond franchise, and a standing deal to co-produce the upcoming two-film adaptation of The Hobbit with Peter Jackson and New Line.

While it's sad to see a grand old lady like MGM go up on the block, I'm sure the lion will still roar in front of some movies; that's too valuable a name to let gather dust. Still, this could be the beginning of the end of studios as we know them. We'll see what the future holds.

Post-Oscar Wrap Up

Well, the glittering night is done, and Hollywood has put away its forced smiles and glad hands for yet another night. I hadn't really talked about the big show leading up to last night, because, by and large, I thought it was going to be a pretty by-the-numbers show. And it didn't surprise me, with a few exceptions.

I wasn't surprised Sandra Bullock won, as I knew she was a very popular fixture in Hollywood. I personally can't stand the confectionery she usually appears in, The Blind Side included, but a whole helluva lot of other people do, and I have to say, she has always struck me as kind of a classy dame. Her speech reinforced that, even as I thought that Gabourey Sidibe was the most deserving actress for her incredible turn in Precious.

The only other thing that surprised me was The White Ribbon not winning either Best Cinematography or Best Foreign Language film. Seeing as I thought it to be the best film of the year, I was surprised that the Academy went another way.

Few surprises meant the show was a little lacklustre this year. The two hosts, Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, were funny, but were hardly on stage enough to really cut loose. Their funniest moment came with their spoof of Paranormal Activity, and with a few of their choice digs at each other and Meryl Streep. But look, if you've got a comedic duo on stage of that calibre, to not have routines written that highlight a "duo" structure is a waste.

The dance numbers were weak, starting with the hodgepodge of Neil Patrick Harris' opening number. It seemed tacked on and felt like Harris was auditioning to host the Oscars solo next year, and it wasn't a very good audition, it must be said. The Breakin' II: Electric Boogaloo-esque number that supposedly showed off the nominated scores was painful, with the choreography so muddled and convoluted as to defy description. It rarely matched the music or evoked interest.

Finally, and this was begun last year and I hated it then, there was the James Taylor performance accompanying the "In Memoriam" segment. People should be paying attention to honoring the people who had passed that year, not having their attention torn by trying to be respectful to the person performing.

Anyhoo, those are my gripes and praises. The Hurt Locker won big, and it deserved it for the most part, though I still believe Precious to be the best American film of the year, with The Hurt Locker right behind it. I'm just glad Avatar didn't win, even though this is a genre-friendly site. It just simply didn't deserve it.

The Return of Leno

Last night, Jay Leno made his return to The Tonight Show after his abysmal detour into the 10 p.m. time slot for NBC. Leno's 10 p.m. comedy show that aired five nights a week was an abject failure for NBC that hemorrhaged viewers and caused a near revolt by network affiliates, who saw their nightly news broadcasts drop by nearly half during Leno's tenure.

Still, as everyone knows, no one was hurt more than Conan O'Brien, who took over the reigns of Tonight and, without any kind of strong lead-in on any night, had a lot of trouble building an audience. After only seven months, he was pretty much forced to quit the show or move it to after midnight to accommodate NBC's desire to retain Leno's services at 11:30 p.m.

So last night, Leno went back to Tonight. And he beat Dave Letterman in the ratings. C'mon, we knew he would, right? I mean, it's his first night back; let's just see what he'll do over time. But we all know, don't we? I'm betting he'll stay at number one. Is his show a boring, middle of the road, pandering snooze fest compared to others? You bet. But, it appears, that's what a broad majority wants in their late night shows.

Letterman is a polarizing figure, always has been. He's sharp, moody and probably the most innovative and brilliant guy in late night. But he's also the most mercurial and "unsafe for all time zones" TV personalities around. If he thinks a guest is an idiot, he'll show it. If he thinks someone out there is reprehensible, he won't do a gentle rib of a joke, he'll fucking destroy them with jokes. If he's having a bad night, he'll come right out and say it. He has weird feuds and some guests that seem to come on and do battle with him in a running joke that the casual viewer won't get at all (his long-standing routine with Charles Grodin is a case in point, a joke that never gets old). Take a look at this wonderfully odd and awesome exchange from last night's interview with long-standing fave Bill Murray:




Meanwhile, here's a look back at the first monologue Conan did on Tonight after making the decision to leave. It's simultaneously funnier than any routine I've ever seen Leno do, and the most clear depiction of clearly, deeply hurt man. It did allow for one of the most revolutionary moments I've seen in TV, where a guy was fired by a network and then allowed to go on and just eviscerate it night after night for weeks. Seriously, between Conan and Letterman, NBC was just brutalized during this whole mess, and they clearly deserved it:



So we move on, and we'll probably see another decade of Leno on Tonight at least. Which is sad, really. O'Brien took the high road and took care of his staff, stuck to his principles and called out a bunch of people who clearly said one thing while meaning other things entirely. Isn't that the kind of guy we want to see win? Yeah, his ratings weren't the best, but did seven months with no lead-in really give him the time he needed? Was he given the same consideration Leno was when he started? Undoubtedly not. It took the massive get of Hugh Grant's first public appearance after picking up a hooker to put Leno in the #1 spot.

The Tonight Show used to be a place where magic happened. Think of the brilliance of Steve Allen's innovative routines. Think of the scintillating talk featured during Jack Paar's sophisticated run. And of course, think of Carson's remarkable reign, filled with funny routines, great interviews and comedy that had wide appeal without being bland.

What will be on Leno's greatest hits reel? Hugh Grant, undoubtedly. Perhaps some Jaywalking and Headlines puns. But I can't think that there will be anything that matches the sheer riskiness and brilliance of his predecessors, competitor, and all too brief successor.

Mad Mel Beyond Sugar-Tits

Well, you have to give Mel Gibson a little bit of credit. He had come this close to successfully rejuvenating his once mighty career. Then he made the unforgivable mistake of calling WGN reporter Dean Richards an "asshole" and it all, apparently, has come tumbling down once again. See, it's odd, because the only bad thing I see about the "asshole" comment is that Richards clearly appears to be a douche bag, so Mel just got the phylum wrong.

Here's the video of the whole thing, for anyone who hasn't seen it, mostly because I think it's funny:



Look, put yourself in Mel's place for a second (and also pretend you're not a borderline insane anti-Semitic with an obsession with ancient Catholicism). If you finished that exact interview and thought the camera was off, the first thing you would say about that guy would be, "Asshole". What, you think he'd simply chuckle and say, "Wow, that canny journalist almost painted me into a corner about my insanely erratic behaviour! Bravo, scoop, bravo." This is a guy who drove drunk, got pulled over, and called his arresting officer "Sugar-Tits" after spouting anti-Semitic ephitets that would make Hitler say, "Dude, dial it back a bit."

The real offence in that interview is the way Mel just sort of casually dismissed all the crazy-ass stuff that has gone on over the last four years. I'll allow that probably every single press interview he's doing for his new movie would be fraught with questions about these things and whether audiences would accept him again, and Mel is probably beyond tired of defending and apologizing, but shit, it's stuff he did, right? And surely those questions are fair game. I think they probably deserve a better answer than, "It was a long time ago, and I did all the sorries they asked me to, so just never mention it again." Nope. Not after Sugar-Tits.

The odd thing is, Mel's pseudo-comeback has made me hungry for early Mel; when we didn't know he was crazy. So, I went to Blockbuster to pick up Mad Max and The Road Warrior, two of the most kick-ass movies ever made. My Blockbuster didn't have a copy of The Road Warrior. As I looked at the empty space on the Action shelf where the film should rest, I thought that it was impossible; the lights were playing tricks with my eyes. That's like not having Raiders of the Lost Ark. I went up front, and asked the guy if they carried it. He, a nerd like myself, snorted back a laugh and said, "Of course, let me look it up."

A moment later he said, in shocked voice, "We don't carry it." I just shook my head at him. He couldn't meet my eyes as I left.

I went to Best Buy, where once again I found a copy of Mad Max, but no love for Road Warrior. Once agian, I asked a clerk if they had a copy, maybe in the back somehwere. Maybe they hid a copy to protect children, the elderly and people with weak hearts from the sheer ass-kicking vibrations that emanate from all the car wrecks, feral boys, gyro-copters and butt-less chap clad Australian post-apocalyptic punks contained therein.

The clerk had to ask me the name of the movie twice. I laughed, thinking he must be in jest, and said, "Dude, The Road Warrior." He continued to look at me blankly.

Then he said, "Is it a car movie?"

I replied, "Are you fucking kidding me?"

At that point, I was asked to leave.

So maybe the Mel I grew up with is gone forever. The Mel who gave guys a choice to saw through their hand or blow up. The Mel who beat Gary Busey so hard he lost his mind. The Mel who went beyond Thunderdome. Well, as all the children said, "We don't need another hero."

Is Miramax dead?

On January 28, 2010, it was announced that, after 31 illustrious years, Miramax Studios' offices were closing their doors. The studio that had pretty much single handedly shepherded the independent film revolution in America during the 1980s and and 1990s, and had brought a whole heck of a lot of foreign films to American cinemas, was seemingly dead.

It had been a short, if exceptional life. Miramax was founded in 1979 by two brash, apparently socially maladjusted movie fans named Harvey and Bob Weinstein. They named their studio after their parents, Miriam and Max, and it was originally little more than a U.S. distributor for overseas films. Their first minor success was distributing a series of concert films to benefit Amnesty International that were called The Secret Policeman's Balls.

Soon, however, they were acquiring both innovative and important foreign releases such as My Left Foot and Tie Me Up! Tie Me Down!, as well as picking up American independent films like sex, lies and videotape. They exploded as a major new force in American film when they released some major hits that truly began the independent film revolution in earnest; The Crying Game, Clerks and Reservoir Dogs.

Their willingness to take a chance on untested films and directors, as well as their marketing savvy, made the Weinsteins the go to guys for independent film makers. They were also legendary for their massive tempers, equally sizable egos, and willingness to re cut foreign (or even home-grown) films to suit their liking.

Still, they managed to release a stunning series of groundbreaking, innovative films. Pulp Fiction, The English Patient, Chasing Amy, Kids, Heavenly Creatures, Shakespeare in Love and Chicago are just some of their most lauded and award-winning films.

In 1993, Miramax was bought by Disney, and many feared that the Mouse would strangle the once fierce iconoclasts. They would clash over the years; the Weinsteins would not use any Disney funds to release and distribute Kids, they created their own special company to release Fahrenheit 9/11 and Disney and the brothers clashed hugely over Dogma. In the end, creative differences did spell the end; reportedly the Weinsteins never found a way to work cordially with Michael Eisner. This clash of personality led to the brothers leaving the company they founded in 2005.

To many, that was the end. The Weinsteins left and took the film maker most identified with Miramax, Quentin Tarantino, with them. They formed the The Weinstein Company, or TWC. As for Miramax, it struggled along, still managing to release some great films (The Queen, Gone Baby Gone, No Country For Old Men, There Will Be Blood, City of Men). The brothers' new company has released some good films that were well-received (Transamerica, The Reader) but aside from the recent Inglourious Basterds, has shown none of their old spark.

So, does the recent closure mean that Miramax is gone forever? Hardly. The studio still has a number of films to release over the next two years, and its library of films is incredibly lucrative and impressive. If there's ever a change over at Disney, and some of the bad taste from days of tussling with the Weinstein's is forgotten, I bet we'll see it get up and running again. But, for now, at least, those days of getting excited at the possibilities of a film just by the sight of the Miramax logo at the top of the trailer seem to be over. More's the pity.

Why Ricky Gervias Killed Last Night

Okay, apparently, there are people out there who hated Ricky Gervais as host of last night's Golden Globes. Mostly the more established writers at such papers as the NY Times, the La Times, the Chicago Sun-Times; basically any paper having anything temporal in its name.

They used such lovely words as "profane" "tame" and "unfunny". They talked about how the audience at the ceremony didn't find him funny either.

I thought he was hilarious. And to my eyes and ears, so did the crowd. Sure, he wasn't laugh a minute, but he did exactly what they hired him to do; be unpredictable and unbridled in who he went after. When he was hired, it was after several award show appearances where he popped off shots at the very celebrities who were being feted. That's what they wanted, and last night, that's what he gave them.

Here's some truly hilarious examples:

One thing that can’t be bought is a Golden Globe. Officially. (Big, shocked laugh from the audience) I’m not going to do this again, anyway.

I like a drink as much as the next man. Unless the next man is Mel Gibson.

We (he and Paul McCartney) actually came over on the same flight. I didn't get to speak to him because I was up the front in first class. He was behind me in coach. Saving money. He spent an awful lot last year (After a few scattered boosto the divorce reference). I don't think we have to feel too sorry for him. He's doing alright.

It's an honour to be here in a room full of what I consider to be the most important people on the planet – actors. They're just better than ordinary people, aren't they?

One stereotype I hate is that all Irishmen are just drunk, swearing hell raisers. Please welcome Colin Farrell.

To which Farrell ruefully replied onstage:

Oh, I once was a cliche. I heard Ricky had specifically asked to introduce me and I thought, "Oh, balls".


As for the rest of the night, it was sort of dull, with a shortage of exciting moments. We did have some fun train wrecks through (Harrison Ford looking like he just downed some ludes for most of the evening; Drew Barrymore's stream of consciousness acceptance speech; and what the fuck was wrong with the usually uber-pro Felicity Huffman? How drunk could she be that early in the night?)

There were some highlights though. Scorsese's tribute was nice, and De Niro was extremely funny. McCartney nailed his joke of saying animated films were for "kids and drug-taking adults", The standing O's for Sophia Loren and Jeff Bridges were sweet, and Robert Downey Jr. should give every acceptance speech this year:

If you start playing violins, I will tear this joint apart…I would like to thank Susan Downey, for telling me Matt Damon was going to win so don't bother to prepare a speech.

Look for a video of the rest of that speech. Classic.

Leno Could Be Some Sort of Demon

Jesus Christ, does Jay Leno have photos of Jeff Zucker with a dead hooker? I mean, seriously, how much can one man fuck a network over before you realize whatever ratings he gives you aren't worth it?

I'm not going to recap too much of the back story here, because we all know what's been going on, but let's take a look at how this move to Leno in prime-time five nights a week has cost NBC:

• They lost the 10pm drama slot, once a staple for their more innovative, challenging and successful shows. Want examples? How about ER? How about Law & Order? How about Hill Street Blues or LA Law?

• They screwed over a show with the potential to become one of the hits listed above; Southland. The hard-hitting cop show was produced by John Wells, the guy who produced ER and The West Wing.

• It completely undermined both Conan O'Brien and The Tonight Show brand. Look, Tonight is THE late night show. It's the peak, the tops. How could Conan look like the King when the previous King is his lead-in. And you don't endanger The Tonight Show. You just don't do it. Don't make it look small. Steve Allen started that show. Jack Paar worked there. It was Carson's home. Whoever you install in that chair should be your late-night guy. He should get all your attention. The last thing you do is make him look like he's wearing Dad's suit by putting his predecessor on right ahead of him.


• Finally, NBC fucked their affiliates. They use the 10pm slot as lead-in for 11pm local news. Well, with people switching off Leno in droves, the affiliates were losing pretty much all their viewers. It got so bad that a number of affiliates finally threatened a revolt. They threatened to drop Leno, or even NBC.

Look, if you've got a bad show on one night, then people won't watch that night. If you have a bad show on five nights a frickin' week, then you've really got a problem. But NBC stuck with him, which made them look completely insane.

The solution is to cancel the show and get the best stuff you got on in its place. But NBC chooses to move Leno to 11:35, bump The Tonight Show from it's slot (for the first time in decades!), putting Conan at midnight, and put Fallon at the ungodly hour of 1:30 or something.

Is Conan not pulling in the ratings he should? Possibly, but he might have done better without competition on his own network.

Frustrating.

Stuart Townsend is Unfathomable

I seriously cannot fathom Stuart Townsend. He had been cast as Fandral, the good looking buddy of Thor in the anticipated adaptation of the Marvel comic due next summer. However, it has just been reported that he had left the film over "creative differences".

Unless you are a huge Anne Rice fan, Townsend is probably best known as "that guy that gets to fuck Charlize Theron", which quite frankly, is not the worst title to go by.

Seriously, dude, don't rub it in.

But, there is another story he's famous for. Or rather infamous. See, he was also the first actor to be cast as Aragorn in Lord of the Rings. So the story goes, Peter Jackson realized he had cast the role too young and had to recast, choosing the singularly awesome Viggo. It's important to recognize that either Jackson is telling the truth, or he's following the old Hollywood tradition of being very polite and discreet when you replace actors and Townsend wound up being awful. Either way, no one really talks about it, which is odd 'cause those Hobbits are mouthy, and they're everywhere. Seriously they're like squirrels.

But that's neither here nor there. The important thing, it seems to me, is that if you're Townsend, and you got cast in another big blockbuster after that, wouldn't you do pretty much anything to hang onto it? Seriously. "Creative differences"? If you start arguing with Ken Branagh over the direction he's taking with your character, I think Charlize needs to smack you in the peenie and remind you the name of the flick is Thor, not Fandral, and maybe you should shut the eff up, Aragorn.

Unfathomable. Anyway, lucky fucking break for Joshua Dallas, right?

NBC Continues Suicidal Decisions, Cancels "Southland"

If you follow the show biz industry news, you'll no doubt have heard about a truly bizarre decision that came down from NBC over the weekend in which they cancelled their cop drama Southland just before their second season was due to air, after renewing it only a few weeks before.

The move has a lot of people scratching their heads and wondering if NBC has gone....well.......bugfuck nuts. The official reason that the network has given is that the show is too "dark and gritty" for NBC, and therefore, they aren't going to air it. This despite the fact that the series garnered significant critical acclaim upon its release. The show debuted strongly last mid-season, as it was touted as the replacement for ER, even though the two shows could not have been more different. The ratings did take a downturn during its run, but NBC announced in May that they would be renewing the series for second season.

Then, the trouble started. First, NBC pushed the second season debut from September 25th to Oct. 23rd, claiming it was done to avoid having the series compete with other season premieres. This also meant the show was moved from Thursday at 10pm to Friday at 9pm. Not the world's greatest time slot, historically. Then, on October 7th came the news that they were cancelling the show altogether and not going to air the six episodes that they've already shot.

Now, I watched the first season, and it was good. It had some problems, for sure. The main problem was a cast and a focus that was way too large to really hold our attention. Some aspects, such as Ben McKenzie's rookie paired up with Michael Cudlitz's closeted tough veteran, and Regina King's brilliant portrayal of a totally believable homicide cop, shone bright. Other aspects fell quite flat, like Tom Everett Scott's barely present portrayal of a cop looking to branch out as a writer. The result was a show that meandered too much. Still, the good stuff, including the dark and gritty tone, really felt exciting and different and exceptional. It certainly deserved a little longer to find its feet, and based on the fact that I've heard the second season focuses far more on McKenzie and King's story lines, it seems the producers knew this too.

Some people want to blame Jay Leno. I can't wholly disagree. You see, when Leno got his deal for a five night a week spot at 10 pm, it meant that the 10 pm slot was no longer available for any scripted dramas, and it also meant that the later slot that allowed riskier more adult fare to be shown, was now gone. I hate Leno's style of comedy as much as the next guy, and the decision to put him on five nights a week was beyond idiotic, really. It pretty much signalled that the network was completely abandoning filling that slot with anything of any real innovation.

However, if the network had any real faith in Southland, it would still be on. Based on the numbers that some of its 9pm shows (like Heroes, Mercy, Trauma) are pulling down, it's not like they couldn't soon find a place for it. Simply put, NBC doesn't have the balls or the patience to air a show or nurture it for any length of time. And as a result, it is now a fourth place network. Even Fox is beating it. Pretty soon, don't be surprised if you see the CW kicking its ass.

Think on this; you know what shows NBC has produced that ran at 10 pm? Here's a list: ER, Law & Order, Hill Street Blues, L.A. Law, Hunter, Quincy, M.E., Homicide: Life on the Street, Law & Order SVU. People will argue that times change, but some of those shows were hits in their 10pm slots, like six months ago!

Southland star Michael Cudlitz was so angry that, when interviewed, he unleashed a can of whup-ass on NBC that hilariously ensures he'll never work for them again:

We were two weeks away from airing and (the cancellation news) has created more press for the show than NBC has put into it on its own. They ran the first (Southland) ad — a 30-second spot — last Friday, and that’s the only one that they ran. That’s not a relaunch. When you have a network that nobody’s watching, it doesn’t benefit you to only advertise on your network....We were given the same statement that everyone got. (NBC) said they watched the first (four) episodes and determined that they were too dark. I don’t even know where to go with that. They were the scripts that (NBC) approved for a show that they picked up — a show they themselves advertised as an authentic, raw and gritty look at the Los Angeles Police Department. So I don’t know what they thought they were getting…


Basically this was a sleazy move, completely screwing over the show's producers, cast and crew who thought their hard work was at least going to be seen. And as TNT is now expressing interest in taking over the series, it's also another indicator that network television is in really danger of complete irrelevancy through its over-reliance in reality shows, cutting corners and a complete lack of faith in the shows they make.

I'm Bracing Myself

So, it's the season premiere of Heroes tonight, and I'm bracing myself for a possible suckfest of craptacular proportions.

I've written before of my dismay about how absolutely shitty the show has become since the heights of its genuinely excellent first season. I'm not going to re-rant and re-rave about what is wrong with the show now except to say that the problems of Season 2 were somehow only compounded with Season 3. Instead, I'm going to be more positive in that I'm going to offer a few specific, constructive ideas on how to make the show better.

1 - Get Your Feet Back on the Ground - One of the things that was great about the central concept in the first season is that everyone was basically a real person with a real life. Parkman was a cop. Hiro and Ando lived in Japan as cubicle dwellers. Peter was a nurse with an actual job. Nathan had a wife and kids. Claire went to school. The touches of reality grounded the show, keeping it from becoming a full-fledged comic book. Since season 1, what exactly do any of these people do for money? When was the last time anyone saw or heard mention of Nathan's family? And speaking of Nathan, he has got to be the most absentee Senator ever! When the fuck does he, you know, go to the Senate?! If they don't have some sort of a normal life to protect or retreat to, they are far less interesting and far more unbelievable.

2 - Real People Can Be Heroes Too - Ando and Suresh used to provide an important element to the show. As non-powered, relatively average non-spy, main characters they had an outlook on things that gave some much-needed perspective. Now, they're just freaks like everyone else on the show, and since they weren't designed to be powered originally, they really don't seem special and therefore are kind of uninteresting. Bring in a few non-powered people to pal around with our Heroes. How about a partner for Parkman who appreciates his powers in helping them catch crooks? How about rescuing Peter's Irish sweetheart from Season 2 who Peter abandoned in a nightmarish future New York (dick).

3 - Characters Can Grow - I'm looking at your Hiro and Ando. And Noah. And Claire. And Mrs. Petrelli. And Peter. And Nathan. Fuck, at EVERYBODY. Look, in Season 1, Hiro and Ando's naivete and earnestness was hilarious and made them the scrappy underdogs with hearts of gold. After two more seasons of them not apparently not gaining any sort of knowledge from their adventures, it's now more like they're mentally retarded. Hiro now runs a multi-national company doesn't he? So, he's pretty much Bruce Wayne. Let him be Bruce Wayne!

And stop trying to make me doubt Noah's motives. He's a good guy. That's the fucking deal. I don't want to see, nor will I buy, any more trust issues between him and Claire. After almost losing his family, what, eight times? You'd think he'd wise up and start telling the truth. How cool would it be to have the Heroes ably assisted by an ass-kicking, super knowledgeable former spook?

The only character who's gotten more interesting is Sylar, but that's only because Zachary Quinto totally owns that guy. He's certainly not written any better than he was in Season 1.

4 - Anything You've Done Before is Off-Limits - The repetitive nature of the show is the most brutal detriment it has. How many times has it shown us a hellish future? How many times has there been mention of a disaster? How many times has Isaac's paniting power been used? And he's been dead since Season 1! How many times have they had a "big bad" mystery threat waiting in the wings. And no more Company stuff. Ever. It's done. It's over. Unless....you turn the Company into something completely different.

5 - Dump What Isn't Working - Suresh? That character hasn't worked since the first Season. Either radically change his direction or dump him. And Heroes makes baffling choices in this regard all the time. They killed off DL Hawkins for no apparent reason, and he was a great character. Then they killed off Niki, and okay, I guess, but she was nowhere near as dead-ended as Suresh. It's not like the character they replaced her with was any better. Niki's son Micah had a cool power, and was well played, and they shucked him aside, as well as his cousin with the cool physical super-power who barely got explored.

And what about Claire? Well, having an invulnerable character does tend to invalidate any jeopardy you may feel. But, killing her off? Man, that would be the incredibly bold. It would energize the Petrelli's in a huge way, not to mention Noah. It would show that literally anything could happen. Let's face it, is she doing anything of interest? Has she trained to kick ass so her power makes her more than simply a punching bag that can't get hurt? Is the actress capable of injecting her with more than one dimension? Sadly no, no, and hell no.

Harsh? Agree? Disagree? All I know is that if Heroes does the same old tired, boring, nonsensical stupidity of the last couple seasons, then they will have killed the golden goose in a major way.

Hollywood Isn't Even Trying Anymore

So, The Vancouver Sun just put out a story stating that UFC fighter Quinton "Rampage" Jackson is in town to prep for his role of B.A. Baracus in the upcoming feature film adaptation of the the 1980s TV show The A-Team.

Okay, this leads me to ask of Hollywood, have you just given up on original ideas? I mean, is this it? Look, I have as fond memories of The A-Team as the next guy (I even think the last couple of seasons with Frankie Santana and Gen. Hunt Stockwell were the coolest the show ever did) but since re-watching a number of famous and beloved TV shows of the era I've come to a rather shocking conclusion.

All the 80s TV shows we want to remake sucked balls. There are some great TV shows that debuted in the 1980s, and yet these are the ones we don't want to revisit. I'll admit no one's clamoring to see new versions of St. Elsewhere or Hill Street Blues or China Beach or thirtysomething.

But what about other shows that lend themselves to more easily to big-screen or small screen revisitations? How come we haven't seen a new version of Cagney & Lacey? Or L.A. Law? They've been trying to make a Magnum P.I. movie for years and can't seem to crack that particular nut. Ironically, the only good 80s show that did become a feature was Miami Vice, and it was nowhere near as effective as its source, even though the same exact people were responsible.

But the shows that do get snapped up and green lit; Knight Rider, The A-Team, The Dukes of Hazzard, Transformers, G.I. Joe. You go back and watch these shows and they appear to be written by and for the functionally retarded. I know, I know, they were primarily kids shows, but the live-action shows were big hits with adults. Fuck, how does that even happen?

You know what I heard not long ago? They were considering a big-screen version of The Fall Guy. The. Fucking. Fall. Guy.

Hey, if you're going to remake stuff, Hollywood, please start with something good (Wiseguy would fucking rock as an HBO series).

I mean, who knows, an A-Team movie directed by Joe Carnahan and starring Liam Neeson as Hannibal could be incredible, but man, consider the source.